heteroduplexing | [Closed] Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world

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[Closed] Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world

Despite the nature of Jill's career, bars and taverns had never been a very frequent destination of hers until recently. "Frequent" being no more than once a week at the very most, and even then she didn't always drink, if she was the drive home. It wasn't that much different now, although she hadn't had to worry about the designated driver part for a while, considering walking tended to be her primary method of travel lately. As for "recently," that was a definition considerably harder to place; time and space weren't always easy to define, she'd found, much like memory, sensation, thought, all the things she'd once considered solid and intangible.

If pushed, she would have defined it as ever since Africa, because that seemed to be the point from which every strange thing began. Strange, that was, in terms of the unknown beyond the unusual things that existed where she originally came from. Home.

Definitions and technicalities aside, Jill was most definitely in the mood for both that bar setting and a drink tonight. So with her usual bag on her shoulder and holster on her thigh, she set out pretty late into the evening, appreciating the cooling summer air on her skin as she went. The town only hosted one bar that she knew of, but it wasn't the bar itself as much as the company she expected that would have made it her favorite either way.

As predicted, the place appeared empty when she entered; with half an hour until closing time, that was what Jill had intended, although the town wasn't exactly buzzing with typical city activity at any time of day.

The door closed with a jingle behind her and she made her way up to the bar, setting her knapsack there before casting another glance around. The aforementioned barmaid was probably in the back, then.

With a small grin, Jill called, "Hey! Can I get any service around here?" Her smile was audible in her voice -- joking, mostly, but also with some genuine warmth. She'd had her diverse share of friends, acquaintances, and comrades alike over time, and it wasn't a stretch to say Tifa was one of her closer ties. What they lacked in similarities between their homelands, they made up for in trust and a treasured friendship; good as well as bad times together had a tendency to produce a rare kind of bond (which, in Jill's experience, could go either way), and God knew she and Tifa had had plenty of both between them.

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She was too sweet. Too pure. A smile like that belonged on posters for movies. And the sunny disposition should be reserved for the most worthy in hospitals or daycares. Certainly, a woman like Tifa did not belong in the dark underbelly that surrounded bar scenes and taverns. The only nightlife that seemed fitting for her should have been to dance under the strobbing lights. But try as anyone liked to put the pieces together, it never made sense that it would be her that was trudging knee deep in the grit along with the glamour.

But then, it would only mean that they did not know Tifa all that well to begin with.

She was hard as much as she was gentle. And she was tough as much as she was sweet. She had to be. For a long time, there was no other way for her to live. For her to survive long enough to see any semblance of home. Months out, the young barmaid still couldn't pinpoint just where everything started to turn, other than sometime after the Remnants, as if that were any indication of time.

It got harder and harder to keep track of the passing months with each test of will and strength. And at some point, Tifa felt that maybe it didn't even matter anymore, so much as they were there ensure that it passed at all.

But for now, things were quiet. They were safe from battle and hardships for a little bit longer. And with most everything still in tact.

At the sound of the door closing, she rinsed her hands clean of the soap and suds from the sink and made her way out front. And was greeted with a welcomed tone to a very familiar face.

Tifa hadn't expected...

"I guess your manners suffered a little in that last confrontation, huh, Jill?" It was teasing and playful, something neither one of them ever saw often in their line of sidework. Or maybe this was just the waiting point in their lives until the next crisis arose and called them into action. Whether they liked it or not. Whatever the arrangement, Tifa was glad for the surprise and welcomed the company. Things were always so quiet this time of night. It made things slow and dragged time along. It always gave her space to think far too much. "So, what brings you here?"

Jill's grin grew when Tifa rounded the corner, and then a little more at the reply.

"Considering some of the company I've kept, sometimes I'm surprised I still have them." The remark was equally teasing and playful, even if there was some truth behind it; not that lacking manners (or most of them, anyway) automatically made for bad company. Not always.

In response to the latter question, Jill shrugged as her hands came to rest on her hips. "Oh, nothing big. Just thought I'd drop by and see how you were doing." While her warm demeanor stayed, some of that teasing quality dimmed just a little bit, enough for her next question to come out genuinely interested. "How've you been?"

Scoffing at the idea, she couldn't help but laugh at the other's comment. Considering her own job and where they were meeting, Jill was preaching to the choir, here.

"At least you don't work at a bar." Wiping off a clean glass, Tifa set it down gently in front of her companion in preparation for the other's drink request. If she had one to begin with. "But this was a pleasant surprise. I wasn't expecting you to come in today." Or most days, for that matter.

Jill went to bars, yes, but those visits tended to be few and far in between. There was always a reason. And, in her experience, it was never a particularly good one where either one were concerned. But, she thought with a downcast glance around the room, at the very least Tifa could give the other her full and undivided attention. "So what can I do you for?"

Jill chuckled at that first observation, bowing her head briefly in agreement. "You got me there."

She didn't answer the question right away, though, instead sighing lightly as she also glanced around the place -- more as a method of stalling, to be honest, than in any real curiosity. Jill didn't like to think that she only visited Tifa's bar when she had a reason to, but she knew that was the case. Not that she didn't enjoy Tifa's company, of course; that was a reason in and of itself, but there was always something else that gave her the initial push to that, even if it was small -- even if Jill didn't realize it consciously at the time.

There was always something on Jill's mind -- that wasn't new. Tonight it was a few things, a couple of which she hadn't been entirely able to sweep under the metaphorical rug. Hence the call for a drink and, admittedly, a friend who she hoped would be able to distract her from it for a while.

Jill studied the empty glass for only a couple beats. "Some company, if you're not too busy," she replied with another warm smile. "...And... a Lady Shirley doesn't sound too bad."

Her demeanor aside, that order alone probably hinted at Jill's true mood. She didn't often indulge in the stronger drinks, and her tolerance notwithstanding, a whiskey cocktail wasn't exactly what you had when just dropping by for a five-minute chat.

The customary response was just lingering on her lips at the request. But Tifa refrained from uttering them. To her regulars - to people in general - like Jill, they were unnecessary. And given the weight of the other's tone, they were fairly unwelcomed. She didn't need a faceless servant to the drunkards that walked the streets of the city. Or empty pleasantries.

Jill needed a friend.

A glance was spared at the other woman before the barmaid went through the practiced motion of mixing the beverage - she knew every drink by heart, or at least had the courtesy to ask if she didn't - and then her eyes rested on the other with a curious knit in her brows. "...Something you need to talk about?"

It was as serious and to the point as Tifa could get, and as honest as she would allow herself to get. The young warrior deserved that much. Because they were the same. Different times and places and details, but essence, the same. Right up until the moment that their paths crossed and followed alongside each other.

Her smile now a grateful one, Jill pushed her bag aside on the bar as she slid onto a stool. She crossed her arms on the polished wood, taking the time that Tifa was turned away to look momentarily thoughtful, absently tracing lines in the counter with her distracted gaze.

Was there something she wanted to talk about? There were plenty of somethings that could use a good thinking over, either because she'd put them off long enough or because avoiding them any more would make them that much more difficult to face later on. Most of the time, Jill wasn't the type to smother her feelings, anyway; hide them, yes, in regards to not wanting to trouble others, or even out of necessity when there was a bigger priority at hand -- but she never let it pass the point of being unhealthy.

The couple things she had on mind tonight -- or arguably one thing, depending on how technical she felt like being -- weren't as serious as some. There was no risk of falling into a depression or going insane or crippling herself psychologically; nothing so drastic. No, Jill was just...

...lonely, maybe. Considering how often she was surrounded with people, it was an odd thing to think, but it was a pain she'd felt before. Lonely, somewhat frustrated, and, once the alcohol got in her, probably a little wistful, too.

She really had been putting this off too long.

Neither was Jill the type to always need someone to hear her out when she was troubled, but that never hurt. Especially when she trusted Tifa, knew the feeling was mutual, and had a gut feeling that she could find some sympathy as well as compassion in the younger woman.

There was a noticeable pause before Jill replied, and she snorted softly right before she did with halfhearted amusement. Brace yourself, it said. "I'm starting to think that I've become so work-oriented lately," she began slowly, now watching the back of her hand, "that I'm losing my touch at handling what's personal." Maybe because work was so personal -- or, lately, so much of her personal life blended into work. Or maybe she'd fallen too far into the habit of using work ethics to govern what was personal.

Jill looked up at Tifa, her crooked smile a little distant. "I don't know," she went on. "I just can't help but think something's off when I can jump into some of the things I do without blinking, and then let something as normal as men throw me off." Her expression turned a shade wry there, despite herself.

There came a pause in her mechanics at the finger points of the other's little spew of information, and the barmaid needed a moment for her mind to catch up to the details. Even then, despite the empty bar and quiet atmosphere that surrounded them, Tifa still was second-guessing what she heard spill from the other's mouth. Yet all signs and memories pointed down one direction: men.

Truth be told, it was about the last thing the younger woman expected. She had seen Jill lead. She had been there right beside her when Jill fought for life, freedom, and justice. Even when she was forced to care for what remained of Wesker's children - experiments - Jill had done so without fail.

But then, she thought, it was a truth that they all succumbed to at some point in their lives. Herself included.

The curious quirk of her brow went unchecked and was laced with a hint of shock. The smile that molded from it after came as natural and sincere as either one of them could ever function. "I guess even warriors are still human."

That being said, she took out a glass for the both of them and poured the mix out evenly. Thought not as heavy-handed as some of their other available topics, this still deserved equal attention. She could close down the bar for this. It was late enough, and Tifa didn't see anyone coming for drinks a half hour before closing. "Should you start from the beginning, or do we not have time for that?"

That look of surprise wasn't lost on Jill, and she couldn't say she wasn't expecting it. Of all the things to Talk About, that was probably one of the last Tifa would have guessed, and rightly so; of all the crap in Jill's life, personal relationships were, in comparison, on the easy end of the spectrum. In the event that they did reach troubling levels, the subject was still one that Jill didn't divulge lightly -- she was a private person in many matters, respected the privacy of others, and all in all anything between her and a significant other was just that: between them.

But she wasn't looking to confess anything, or complain, or even remotely approach any topics that would have been betraying anyone's trust in her. She was just looking to talk, even if any details that she shared would be the general, mostly common-sense kind. For Jill, that was enough.

Her smirk grew a little when the drink was divided; her gut feeling had been right. Nodding her thanks, she settled her fingers around the cold glass without lifting it just yet, instead considering the question she'd been asked.

"Well," she mused with that same not-quite-sigh, "if I started all the way back, then no, we probably wouldn't have time." Her expression was good-humored, a shade teasing, before slowly turning thoughtful again. "But really... relationships are never really simple, but I never considered them difficult until..." Jill hesitated, and then waved a hand vaguely at the bar around them, figuring Tifa might understand what she was getting at. "This whole... process." Game was also a word she considered, but she refrained. The largely unamusing game of being jerked around by someone here, some unseen force there, being screwed with left and right until nearly everything and everyone in her life could be called into question.

The thought made her sip at the cocktail -- as good as she remembered, of course. Tifa really did know her way around drinks.

She brushed some of her bangs aside absently. "I guess... it first started during that war." That war -- she didn't specify time, place, or anything beyond those two words, which alone narrowed it down. She and Tifa had been through several messes together, but only one could really, truly be called a war without exaggeration. "Not ideal for having relationships in the first place, I know," Jill went on, raising an eyebrow in something like skeptical acknowledgement of her own point. "This whole lifestyle really isn't. They just..."

She exhaled a little sharply. "Have you ever had the feeling that things tend to just... fall into your lap? No matter where you are or who you're with, or how careful you try to be?"

Whether intended or not, the words invoked an entire string of memories that Tifa would much rather forget. Because there was truly only one War that she could define definitively. One conflict that could even be called a real war. It was the first moments of clarity that the barmaid could recall where black and white became nothing but grey area. Where the lines became subjected. And where she found a friend standing on the opposite side of the forces.

And it had taken her months to convince Cloud that Chaos' choice to enlist him for his side was, in no way, a direct comment on his moral character. They all had a darkness inside of them, after all.

"I think that's what they call Destiny." She shrugged a moment later, unsure if she believed in the concept after everything they both had seen. "Or something like it, maybe."

Because, maybe, it wasn't chance that Tifa had fought against Jill days before Chris had made his formal plea to forgive Jill and Billy for taking Cosmos' crystal in the warehouse.

Stepping out from behind the counter, the younger crossed the floor in a few easy steps and very promptly locked the door, turning the sign over without a second thought. If there was anyone in need of drowning their sorrows in a tankard of mind-numbing liquor, there were other places much more suited. This conversation called for talks late into the morning and no interruptions save for the most dire of emergencies.

With her back to the other, Tifa stood at the door a moment to collect her thoughts on the matter. Granted, she was no real expert on the subject, but a little perspective might be at least helpful. It was the least they could do for each other. "It's a hard feeling to describe, but... I know what you mean. A lot of things are out of your control, it seems. Especially... with all this." - Where there was no control and no room to really plan; just to react, rethink, and respond accordingly and mostly at a moment's notice. - "And you're not sure if it's good or bad that they are."

Jill's mouth twitched into half a smile at that first response. Destiny. She'd never really believed in it -- she hadn't disbelieved it existed, but neither had she ever really entertained the thought that it could. Then again, all the moments of blind luck in her life that had saved her when her own survival instincts and training couldn't, all the unlikely coincidences that she looked back on -- weren't those fate?

Her nails drummed along her glass again briefly and she finally nodded, even if Tifa couldn't see it. "That about sums it up," she replied. A little quickly, she added, "Not that I'd change a thing, if I could. The people I've met -- the ones who've become important to me, and those I've gotten close to... I wouldn't trade those memories for anything." Assuming, of course, that she had a choice in the matter to begin with.

Exhaling audibly, Jill let her gaze absently trace the rim of her glass as she searched for the right words. "Chris and I have been close for a long time," she began. "There's no one I'd trust more to watch my back, and he... he and I can relate on a lot of things." They were all honest statements, heartfelt and genuine -- and yet her tone and the pause after suggested an inevitable but.

"...A lot happened in that war," she went on evenly. "Maybe it was because he'd just found me when we ended up there, or because he felt guilty about a lot of things, or because we had no idea what could happen -- maybe it was all of those. Or none," she conceded, quick enough to suggest that she'd thought about this plenty before now. "But we ended up becoming a thing. It wasn't long after that when it all ended... and I forgot it ever happened." Her voice had taken a grim turn, also speaking volumes regarding how she felt about that. "It wasn't -- we weren't for long, but it still happened."

Jill rotated her drink in her hand, listening to the ice clink against the sides. It was soothing, somewhat.

"And then I was back here," she went on, indicating the bar around them, but the gesture was meant for the town itself. "I don't know if you ever met a man named Cid here, but he was also in the war for a while. A couple times, I thought there might have been something there, but..." She shrugged lightly. "Then I ended up in the Underworld, where--" She gave a quiet snort. "Well, I'd only been there for a few weeks when I was hit by one of those things -- my memory was changed, and for a couple days I believed that I was married to a man I'd never met before. And after that?"

Another snort, a little less gentle than the previous. "I found a drunk man in a gutter and he turned out to be one of the most obnoxious, insensitive people I'd ever met. I nearly broke his hand on accident and he chased me off with insults." She shook her head, smirking -- but it was a fond look, make no mistake. "He... he ended up being there for me in a way no one else could. Long story short, we started dating a few months later. Sort of." A hand came up and Jill waved dismissively. "Still are, I guess, if you want to be technical. And then I ended up here again, and... here I am. With memories of all of it."

And on a night like this, with nothing to distract her from reflecting on everything and everyone she'd mentioned -- the things she missed, the things she'd done wrong, the things she'd do differently... although, as she'd already said, there wasn't much in that last category.

Absentmindedly, the young barmaid felt her lips quirk up in a soft smirk, the words coming as mostly a passing comment to herself. But if Jill happened to overhear it, well, that was perfectly alright as well. "Your past is your foundation..." Because, certainly, Tifa wouldn't change a single moment in her life leading up to this point either. Even despite the tragedies. That much, she understood of the other's words.

Through the rest of it, Tifa listened and processed and turned the phrases over in her mind while Jill continued to explain. When she was accustomed to doing a thousand things at once, it was an easy feat to accomplish as she retook her place behind the bar. And without the rest of it to muddle up the rest, she had to time to focus and really consider her thoughts on the matter.

Sighing softly, she leaned forward and rested her chin in a palm, finding the small break in the other's musing to weave in her thoughts.

"It's a lot to handle in a short amount of time." Not that they knew, exactly, how much time had actually passed outside of these Games. The only basis either had were the markers that they experienced within these little realities they lived. "Having to come back here each time to reset and reconsider and question everything we lived through doesn't help either, I'm sure."

With that, she reached out and finally touched the wet glass of her drink. Because though her time was less compacted with men, her memories were along a similar vein. Each new turn brought her to a Cloud that came from different points in their story. Some had come from after Meteor, but before Edge. Some from the time when he still had the Stigma and was hiding away from their little thrown together family. There was even an instance where she came across a young, blond ShinRa infantry guard, still innocent with wonder and possibilities. Before it had been thrown away with a devastating turn of events that had ended up shaping both their lives.

"But... I have to believe that it all happened." Glances up, above their heads towards the ceiling at some invisible face. "Even if we end up forgetting about it when The-Powers-That-Be decide to send us somewhere else. Because we learn and gain something each and every time."

Because, much like stepping into a flowing river, nothing could happen quite the same twice.

Jill took another long sip as Tifa spoke, nodding once more when she set it down again. "I don't doubt that it all happened. I don't regret that any of it did, either, and whatever happens from here on out... well, it'll happen no matter what."

Was the whiskey getting to her already? Possibly. It had been a while since she'd taken something this strong.

"And I meant what I said about -- not changing anything," she went on after a moment. "But... still, there are a few things I've thought about lately. A lot lately." Jill hesitated, longer and more noticeably. She was recalling all the late nights in the last few weeks, the idle moments of concern and not-quite-regret when she couldn't busy herself past thinking about things -- nothing new in some regards, but something totally different in others.

God, the drink really was getting to her if she was thinking in vague circles like this.

"I know I can't change the past," she continued softly, not yet looking up, "and beating myself up over it is a bad habit of mine -- one that I've gotten a lot better about. Still, I'm... human," she concluded, echoing Tifa's very sentiment from minutes ago. Whether or not Jill realized it was up for debate.

"I... don't know if you've ever been in love before. And I know that's personal, so I won't ask you to answer that." Her fingers tapped on her half-empty glass again, her gaze farseeing and distracted. "I have been before, a few times. I'm... actually not sure if I have been recently--" Her smile was a sheepish one, her brief laugh almost apologetic for the confusion that probably incited. Both faded quickly.

"But... again and again, I find myself wondering if I shouldn't have figured that out sooner. If I should have said or done something this last time... instead of assuming we'd always have tomorrow." Her frown was back, deeper than before, and if Tifa caught a glance of her eyes, there'd be a shadow of open sadness there.

Wolf ring glinting in the lamplight, she waved her hand at the other's sense of courtesy. It was refreshing to think that Jill still respected Tifa's privacy and the life she lived apart from her. But at this point, there were very few secrets between them. And those that remained didn't matter to the subject at hand.

"...I have." With the same person she'd always loved. And yet, with a dozen different men all together. Because he was never the same twice, each time Cloud would appear. Each game brought a new flavor. Each encounter felt as if they were starting all over again. The War, especially, encouraged this feeling as memories switched from fading and resurfacing with each round that they completed. It came to a point where Tifa struggled remembering who she was before being sent back to this in-between place. Nevermind what all this shifting was doing to Cloud's personality and psyche. "I'm not even sure if he knows. Or if I managed to tell him before things got fuzzy around the edges."

She could admit all that to Jill. Because Jill was so kind as to open up that much to her. It was a trust forged out of necessity. One that grew under their mutual and shared experiences with being shuffled about to become parallels of themselves in new and strange worlds so wholly different - so completely similar - from their own.

"Not that it matters, I guess..." Sighing, she slowly reached to gather the ingredients for another mix. Glasses still filled enough for the time being, she could foresee this conversation outlasting both of them. Better to be prepared. "What does, is that you do it when it counts. Whether he remembers or if you'll have nothing past today. Whether you wait until it's almost too late to mean anything."

Because, despite everything, Tifa still hesitated. She still locked things away until they were compressed so tightly within her heart that the words couldn't help but come spilling out when the time came. "There's a time and place for everything. And only you can determine it for yourself. That's what I've learned from all this."

And believe that Tifa's learned that lesson firsthand.

Somehow, that didn't surprise Jill, the idea of Tifa having feelings for someone out there. Tifa had always stricken her as the big-hearted type, and she doubted that only applied to allies and comrades.

Her frown smoothing back into a sad smile, Jill gave a low hum of approval. "That sounds about right." One elbow perched on the counter, letting her prop her cheek on her knuckles as she rotated her half-empty (half-full? That was what she'd normally say.) glass. "I guess after all this time and all the decisions I've made, I was hoping... I don't know, that someone or something else could make the call for me. Just this once."

Then again, so many circumstances she'd fallen into had been out of her hands -- weren't those situations "making the call" for her? Some good, some bad, some treasured, some heart-wrenching and terrible. If this had been added to the list, would Jill really be satisfied? Or would she just see it as one more freedom she'd been denied?

"I'm thinking too hard about this," she muttered. It took her a moment to realize she'd spoken aloud, at which point she raised the drink to her lips again.

"But if there is a time and place," she went on once the glass touched down again, "it's not in the past. That's one thing I can't touch. If it's meant to be, the chance'll come sooner or later. And that's when I can start worrying about what I do or don't do."

Her eyes went up to Tifa, a playful kind of wryness to her new smile. Or maybe some satisfaction at having deduced that much despite the alcohol swimming in her blood. "Right?"

Anticipating what was left unsaid, the barmaid filled the other's drink up to the brim once more, stalling the request for more before it ever became a problem. Because this was an all too heavy matter, and the both of them were far too sober to deal with it in it's current stage. The uncertainty of everything in their lives was a hard truth to swallow, sometimes, even for two independent women who had seemed to thrive on it for the past few years.

Sometimes, Tifa at least simply wanted to drown away all the practicality and propriety for a moment of harmless recklessness. That wasn't asking too much, right?

Topping off her own drink, the young barmaid thought not.

In those moments, she could understand Jill's sentiments. Hard decisions were just that: hard. And as capable as they both were in presiding over such decisions, they slowly took their toll - to run into the burning city when she could've easily abandoned her father to die alone, to learn how to fight and defend herself when there were so many others willing to step in and take care of her, to stay when she should have left - Even now, when Tifa was perfectly content with her chains, they laid heavily on her soul.

Whether her decisions were right or wrong didn't matter as much. Nothing could be changed. All there was left was to live and deal with the consequences that came about from them.

"Right..." Mirroring that same, sad smile, the young woman raised her glass to the other in a wordless salute. Because they deserved as much as that from each other, didn't they? "In the meantime, we'll just handle what comes our way. The way we always have."

Jill's smile grew a bit at the refill, and she nodded her silent thanks before drinking some more, taking her time. She was more careful these days about how much alcohol she let into her system -- "these days" being before this whole mess, a time of being forced to mature beyond her years by a world that could be just as unforgiving as the crossroads between other ones. Jill had had her rough nights back then, too -- before this, before Africa, even, when the nightmares and the reality were sometimes too much to handle.

Looking back, it all felt so insignificant in comparison to the burdens she carried now. The bad, the good... at the end of the day, sometimes their weights were the same.

But as careful as she was, this was a night to let that go, regardless. She would have agreed that yes, they deserved that much.

Jill's was a delayed reaction, but she raised her glass as well with a nod. "The only way we can," she added, and drank to that. Gladly.

"Gives us something to look forward to," she went on a moment later, her glass touching down on the counter a little heavier than intended. Not too loud, not too rough, but enough that even her muddled senses could detect the difference. "That, and... putting up with the most clueless of men." It was a grin, but there was a touch of affection there, too. "Because obviously we don't have enough challenges."

The drink was sweet, and the alcohol bit it back sharply in contrast as it flowed down her throat. Just the way it intended. Just the way that they needed in that moment. Because, as they both knew, there was some satisfaction in the pain. There was some comfort in the bitter aftertaste.

It was a good thing neither one of them made a habit out of imbibing. Considering what she knew of Jill's strength, her counter would not survive too many nights of drinks.

"Those challenges, at least, can be amusing at times." Not so much the other stuff that made their lives difficult - unbearable for most. But at the end of the day, the former was at least a reason. Frustrating as they could be, they gave them some sense of purpose. With the promise of someone being there waiting for them at the end of the path they walked, it was nice to have something to believe in beyond survival or themselves.

It felt nice, though, not having to think about those kinds of things for one night. Strange without having that constant part of herself throughout the evening, but still nice. "The other kind, not so much."

Jill actually laughed at that, a short, impulsive, but genuine sound obviously set into motion by the lovely drink. She would gladly focus on the better of the two categories, especially when her current state of mind would coax her into loosening her death-tight grip on some of those memories.

She never spoke about them partly because she had few close friends that she could really trust, like Tifa; but also because there was an immature fear there, an unconscious anxiety that letting those recollections out might make them more susceptible to tampering.

But they were here, together, tonight, with Jill feeling unusually safe between these simple walls. She could let go a little more.

"Amusing is... one word for it," she agreed, her laughter done but a grin on her lips all the same. Passing her glass between her hands, she shook her head lightly. "Back... in the Underworld -- this was before you arrived -- we once had dinosaurs attack the town. Raptors, or whatever. But the trick was that once you killed them, they came back. Zombie dinosaurs."

It had been nothing to laugh about at the time, especially when one had managed to rip her shoulder open, but looking back... it was hard not to find some kind of amusement in the absurdity of it all.

"Anyway, the guy I was living with -- he'd joked a few months before about the possibility of getting attacked by dinosaurs. I told him that if it happened, I'd feed him to them personally." Another laugh, warmer than the first.

"...Let's just say that by the end of that incident, I had him convinced it was his fault. I'm sure it really was just a coincidence, but..." Jill shook her head with a soft snort, bringing the drink up again. "I milked that one for a while."

Not that John hadn't deserved it. There was a lot about him that Jill let slide, knowing who and how he had been before she'd had an effect on him, so a dose of humility like this one had been earned. In Jill's opinion, anyway.

"Ah, yes, zombies," she mused, looking down at her glass as she rolled the contents around. Granted, the barmaid wasn't as versed in their canon as Jill. But since starting this journey through the worlds, Tifa had experienced enough encounters between the undead to be familiar enough with their concept. Not to mention the fact that she'd had her fair share of beasts and dragons back on Gaia universe.

Alive, they were already a force to be reckoned with. Resurrected, she could only imagine how difficult it would've been to deal with.

But then, that was the charm of the Underworld, wasn't it? That much became obvious after only a week.

Moving behind around behind the counter, she slowly made her way into the back, sifting and searching through the fridge for a quick little snack they both could share. Because alcohol was nice enough, but drinking on an empty stomach gave the risk of a not so joyous morning. "Those things are hard enough to deal with without them being dinosaurs."

A few moments later, she came back with two plates of a simple cake, a soft smile playing across her lips. "I'm sorry I missed it."

"I'm sure the dinosaurs weren't," Jill replied with a knowing glance. She accepted the offered plate with a grateful bob of her head. "Thanks."

She'd steered clear of sweets for the longest time, literally unable to stomach anything very rich, but with most of her physical recovery behind her, her limits were back to normal or better. This was more than welcome.

As she began cutting into her piece, she glanced up at Tifa. "So. How about you? I've been rambling, but... how's the barmaid life been treating you around here?" It was a mostly uneventful place, this one -- nicely so, if almost boring after a while, but that could be appreciated. "Many passersby lately?"

Part of her wanted to rebuttal that argument, believing that any walking bag of meat would've been welcomed for the undead dinosaurs. The more people there were, the more meals to tear apart and share among them. But that was an unimportant matter. Tifa had missed the event all the same, and she was glad for it, for herself and the family she'd managed to make out of the broken pieces that were found along the way. For the others who had to suffer through the ordeal, the young barmaid could only hope that the agony hadn't lasted for long.

Pushing that thought aside as she was want to do, the young woman turned her attention back to the other, smiling soft as Jill cut into her piece without hesitation. It wasn't often that Tifa could get her to indulge in a pastry or treat - just a quick meal and the glass of whatever drink had drawn her there - so it a pleasant sight.

"It is what it is." She shrugs at the idea of it. For a long time, now, it seemed like this had been Tifa's life. She'd been a server at a bar during her entire stint in the Avalanche organization. After the fall of Meteor and the building of Edge, Cloud and the others helped to build a place of her own to run. And now, here she was again, giving comfort and a place for wayward souls to belong, even if for a little while. "Considering the places we've been to, I guess this place seems a little mundane in comparison. But that's not too bad of a thing."

"It's nice," Jill replied with conviction. "When all you get is the unexpected, something so calm and normal is a little unexpected, then. And that just makes it better, I think."

The drink was definitely messing up her word choice, but she got the message across.

"Hope no one's been giving you trouble." The momentary addition was said with the slightest of sly looks -- partly because Jill knew Tifa was more than capable of handling herself, partly because she could only imagine how it went down for someone who tried to bring trouble over the younger woman's threshold, and... partly because there was always that protective side of Jill, and she asked because she was genuinely curious. Even so, it was said lightly enough to infer that she wasn't trying to be nosy.

She makes a soft little sound, as if to disagree with the statement. Tifa agreed, make no mistake. But there was just one small little amendment that needed to be added. "Not to say that the bar life isn't without it's own surprises."

After all, the combination of less than upstanding individuals and inebriating drinks was always an interesting mix. And she'd had to break up a fight or two in her time, earning her a scratch or two for her troubles. More than she could count, there were incidences of unwanted attention and advances that came with the job of dealing with people who just wanted to forget their limitations.

"Just not as nightmare-ish." Place that next to the idea of being possessed by murderous ghosts, or being resurrected inside your own grave - having to dig yourself out of it - and it hardly compared. "Once you've faced up against the forces of Chaos, a few drunk pedestrians are hardly a problem."

"I can imagine," Jill agreed. Whatever the insanity that came with her career choice, she wouldn't doubt every other one out there. She'd seen enough of the spectrum in her years to know that bars, taverns, and any source of alcohol could and would attract all types. It probably took someone like Tifa to handle it.

"Amen to that," she added, briefly raising her drink in a toast. "And here's hoping no forces of Chaos find their way into your bar as some kind of ironic joke." Just in case, she rapped her knuckles briefly against the wooden bar with another smile. "Then again, as calm as it usually is here... maybe this is more of a break room than a crossroads. A little reward for our efforts everywhere else."

It was a nice thought, anyway. No one in charge that they knew of, just some odd little in-between place that, while uneventful, was arguably safe because of that very reason... with the exception of the types of people who could show up alongside them. Jill had had enough run-ins with Wesker and Sync, to name a couple, to get the idea that nowhere was really, absolutely safe anymore. Nothing short of finding her way home, anyway, and that obviously had its own dangers. Dangers, at least, that she knew how to handle.

There wasn't much thought behind it, really. As a young girl, her only dream had been to escape the limitations of small town life. Because she always dreamed for something more. Her life as a barmaid just simply came to be as a result of that. It was a means to an end, and a resource that was necessary at the time. Avalance needed a home base that was well hidden and easily accessible. And the job at the bar was an easy one to manage in between all the insanity that came with being part of a rebel group dead set on the cause. And despite all the wrong reasons that justified her claims, Tifa had few regrets.

"Well, whatever it is, I'm just glad trouble doesn't come knocking at my door." Well, not too much trouble, at least. Because no matter all the dangers and wars and fighting, this place, at least, was a safe haven. Even from the powers that seemed to guide their steps.

Wars and tournaments and experiments never came here to them. They were always taken there, in the middle of the night and at unawares, usually. And while she preferred for things like that to never happen at all, at least it was a sort of courtesy for them. "It'd be an ugly mess to clean up after, I'm sure."

Because there was no doubt that Tifa was a fighter, to the core.

Jill chuckled again, her humor coming much more easily and frequently after her drinks. "Well, if it ever does, you know my number." It sounded like a jest, but she meant it in earnest, and she trusted Tifa to know that, too. Sure enough, Jill had a habit of leaping into danger for new comrades and even strangers when the time called for it, but known, loyal allies -- friends -- were another thing entirely. They were the ones she'd throw everything else away for, no matter how set in her ways and her rules she was normally. Those bonds were what could make her act irrationally despite a life based and built around rationality.

"Then again, that kind of thing tends to hit everyone at once," she added, a little more softly. "I'm not sure if it's more comforting to know we're never alone in these things, or... just depressing. 'Misery loves company' is about right."

In turn, Tifa gave a soft chuckle of her own. "Yeah, well... it's not exactly misery, is it? Things could always be a lot worse."

Like brink of destruction, bad. For herself, the barmaid was sure she had been to that point in her life before. And through some miracle of circumstances, Tifa had managed to make it back - not without consequences or harsh sacrifices along the way, but after her journeys, she was certain that she would be able to survive most anything that The Void and Forces that Be decided to throw at them now.

"And how could it be misery if we always have something to fight for, and people who will always fight with you?" Finishing off her drink, she felt lighthearted and warm as the next words slipped past her lips. "There's a good few people who've lived on much less than that..."

Jill nodded solemnly at that first part -- things could always be a lot worse. She knew that. She'd been through Worse, and whenever things got terrible since then, she would remind herself of that now and again.

"That's true," she murmured, just as serious. "I've always had something to fight for, even if I've been away for so long." Her drink prompted her a little more: "Not... something anymore. Just... survival, I guess. It's usually someone these days."

She didn't regret that, either; whether it was a stranger or someone she loved, Jill was a protector through and through. She didn't complain, didn't doubt. She just acted.

"I guess I just... wish I could pick what I'm fighting for," she added. "I mean -- I choose to fight for other people, but... sometimes I have no choice, considering how we're thrown around. I think it'd just be nice to feel a little... I dunno, in-control again."

Tifa could certainly sympathize with that feeling. Ever since entering into this endless parade of worlds - battles - that weren't her own, there were times where it seemed that they were nothing more than pawns in a grand Game that no one could even begin to understand. And while their respective beliefs always placed focus on this omnipotent force or messiah guiding their steps through this life and these mysteriously new places, it was getting to be just too excessive. More times than she could count, it felt like it had been too much for Tifa.

But then, in the end, she had ended up surviving regardless.

"Maybe that's what this place is for." Sure, it wasn't exactly what Jill was asking for. Because they would always be thrown into a battle or situation that was far from being in their control. But in a place like this, between the fighting and the madness, it was as close to normal as they could ever hope to get. "To keep us from falling too deep into each crisis."

She can't speak much for Jill's circumstances, but for herself, it felt true. Each and every time it felt like Tifa was starting to tip over the edge of no return, it wouldn't be long before she found herself back here where things where safe; where the young girl had the space and time to find herself again, along with a few new memories to add to her growing collection.

"War doesn't exactly leave much room for control, even for those in charge." She adds in a scoff to go with her afterthought. "If there's any control to be had at all."

"Mm." It was a light acknowledgement, more of a maybe than agreement. True, this place was a refuge of sorts, a break from the madness and (usually) even a haven from the darker things and people of the universe, and Jill was grateful for that... but at the same time she couldn't help wondering why her own world couldn't serve that same purpose. Why not let her go home, her real home? God knew it had its own shadows of evil, that was a resident of any world, but it was still hers, hers to call home and protect.

That was probably what all of this boiled down to, she realized then. Not a lack of control, not a broken heart, just... homesickness. That was the best her mind could currently come up with, as influenced as it was.

Jill did hum thoughtfully, however, echoing one word in particular. "War, huh..." Her glass was empty again, but she didn't reach or motion for a refill this time. "Looking at it that way... I shouldn't complain. It could be a lot worse, couldn't it?"

She could be dead, for instance, or without any allies at all. As long as there was a life to live, Jill would keep pushing; that was simply who she was.

She nodded finally, as if coming to some inner conclusion.

"You're right. I think that I..." On second thought, thinking was getting harder to do. Jill rubbed at her forehead and grinned slightly. "Well. You've given me a lot to think about. Thanks, Tifa."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Closed] Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world

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pfft Jill just got her boyfriend back, so. Assuming this is before then. |D

my boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble? hey now, hey now, my - shot

lmao yes XD ...and aaaaaall the teal deerz 4 u

also, lol... we popped your musebox's cherry~ so mature, yes B)

WE DID~ and it means so much more because it was you~

D'aww! Oh you~

SO MUCH TL;DR WHAT IS THIS EVEN, JILL

NO WORRIES, TIFA'S COME TO EXPECT IT ♥♥♥

GOOD, BECAUSE THERE IS MORE COMING + some angst while we're at it

OH GOODIE, I WAS STARTING TO MISS IT 9w9;

I WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOU WANTING, MY DEAR

NO, NEVER EVER. OF THIS YOU ARE VERY SATISFYING~

/o/~~ <3

\o/ ~~~ <3

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I LIIIIIIIIIVE!

\o/

[Closed] Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world

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pfft Jill just got her boyfriend back, so. Assuming this is before then. |D

my boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble? hey now, hey now, my - *shot*

lmao yes XD ...and aaaaaall the teal deerz 4 u

also, lol... we popped your musebox's cherry~ *so mature, yes* B)

WE DID~ and it means so much more because it was you~

D'aww! Oh you~

SO MUCH TL;DR WHAT IS THIS EVEN, JILL

NO WORRIES, TIFA'S COME TO EXPECT IT ♥♥♥

GOOD, BECAUSE THERE IS MORE COMING + some angst while we're at it

OH GOODIE, I WAS STARTING TO MISS IT 9w9;

I WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOU WANTING, MY DEAR

NO, NEVER EVER. OF THIS YOU ARE VERY SATISFYING~

/o/~~ <3

\o/ ~~~ <3

no subject

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no subject

no subject

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I LIIIIIIIIIVE!

\o/

my boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble? hey now, hey now, my - shot

also, lol... we popped your musebox's cherry~ so mature, yes B)